Thursday, December 29, 2005
Friday, December 23, 2005
The Ten Net Commandments
" Just a little something to keep in mind, going into the new year.
1. Thou shalt not buy merchandise found in pop-up ads or spam.
2. Thou shalt not post thy email address, phone number, address or social security number to the internet, nor shalt thou post anyone else's.
3. Thou shalt not forget to update thy Windows every second Tuesday.
4. Thou shalt not connect to the internet without installing an antivirus, nor shalt thou begin a scan without checking for updates.
5. Thou shalt not connect to the internet without installing a firewall.
6. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's credit card number, nor his bank routing number, nor his social security number.
7. Thou shalt not enter thy credit card number without seeing the tiny padlock icon on thy status bar.
8. Thou shalt not reply to the email from the Nigerian banker.
9. Thou shalt not forward chain letters to thy friends and family.
10. Thou shalt not use "password" as thy password, nor thy birthday, nor thy children's names "
1. Thou shalt not buy merchandise found in pop-up ads or spam.
2. Thou shalt not post thy email address, phone number, address or social security number to the internet, nor shalt thou post anyone else's.
3. Thou shalt not forget to update thy Windows every second Tuesday.
4. Thou shalt not connect to the internet without installing an antivirus, nor shalt thou begin a scan without checking for updates.
5. Thou shalt not connect to the internet without installing a firewall.
6. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's credit card number, nor his bank routing number, nor his social security number.
7. Thou shalt not enter thy credit card number without seeing the tiny padlock icon on thy status bar.
8. Thou shalt not reply to the email from the Nigerian banker.
9. Thou shalt not forward chain letters to thy friends and family.
10. Thou shalt not use "password" as thy password, nor thy birthday, nor thy children's names "
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Christmas is not about the loot
"It was an unusual interview. The woman explained she was writing an article for a national magazine on clever ways to put more joy into the holidays.
So I proceeded to pitch to her one marvelous holiday cost-cutting idea after another. And one after another, my ideas landed with a thud. She didn't like them at all. That's when she made a comment that effectively brought the interview to a screeching halt. She called me a Grinch.
Now she didn't actually come right out and say, "You Grinch!" She suggested my ideas would take all the fun and joy out of the season. She assured me it was nothing personal, but still, she called me a Grinch.
Not being one who can let things go easily I had to find out if what she suggested about me was true. In my zeal to encourage people to take back control of Christmas from the locked jaws of commercialism, had I taken on a striking resemblance to that holiday grump, the Grinch?
I was quite certain I knew where to find out. And sure enough, right there on the shelf between "Horton Hears a Who" and "Hunches in Bunches" I found it....that familiar bright red storybook "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."
"The Grinch hated Christmas. The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason."
The Grinch, an ornery old soul with a heart two sizes too small, detests the holiday celebrations down in Who-ville. He hates the singing, the celebrating....all that noise, noise, noise, noise! So he devises a great Grinchy trick to get rid of Christmas forever. He steals all the presents, the ribbons, the wrappings; the tags, and the tinsel, the trimmings....the trappings! He hauls all the loot to the top of Mount Crumpit, where in a huge fit of glee he proceeds to....you guessed it.... dump it! There! His task is complete. He's taken care of Christmas once and for all. All the noise of the fun, all the joy and the love....even the smallest hint of the season is gone forever.
But what's that sound? It's not sobbing, but singing! The Whos began celebrating with no presents at all. The Grinch couldn't stop it, Christmas came just the same. It came without packages, boxes and bags.
I sat there recalling why I love this story so much. And I admit it, I felt delightfully smug. That writer was way off base. I'm not the Grinch in her story. I didn't steal the joy. Her Grinches are consumerism, overindulgence and overdoing the attitudes that insist Christmas is something we can find in a store, mail-order catalog or the Internet.
If you've noticed the joy of the season is missing from your life, maybe those Grinches are to blame. Maybe it's time to let them know they've lost their power.
Authentic joy comes not from all the outside trappings, but from our hearts; from the story of the birth of a baby who would become the Christian Savior; from that love that can fill our lives with giddy joy. So let the singing begin!
A Merry Christmas To All And A Good-night"
So I proceeded to pitch to her one marvelous holiday cost-cutting idea after another. And one after another, my ideas landed with a thud. She didn't like them at all. That's when she made a comment that effectively brought the interview to a screeching halt. She called me a Grinch.
Now she didn't actually come right out and say, "You Grinch!" She suggested my ideas would take all the fun and joy out of the season. She assured me it was nothing personal, but still, she called me a Grinch.
Not being one who can let things go easily I had to find out if what she suggested about me was true. In my zeal to encourage people to take back control of Christmas from the locked jaws of commercialism, had I taken on a striking resemblance to that holiday grump, the Grinch?
I was quite certain I knew where to find out. And sure enough, right there on the shelf between "Horton Hears a Who" and "Hunches in Bunches" I found it....that familiar bright red storybook "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."
"The Grinch hated Christmas. The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason."
The Grinch, an ornery old soul with a heart two sizes too small, detests the holiday celebrations down in Who-ville. He hates the singing, the celebrating....all that noise, noise, noise, noise! So he devises a great Grinchy trick to get rid of Christmas forever. He steals all the presents, the ribbons, the wrappings; the tags, and the tinsel, the trimmings....the trappings! He hauls all the loot to the top of Mount Crumpit, where in a huge fit of glee he proceeds to....you guessed it.... dump it! There! His task is complete. He's taken care of Christmas once and for all. All the noise of the fun, all the joy and the love....even the smallest hint of the season is gone forever.
But what's that sound? It's not sobbing, but singing! The Whos began celebrating with no presents at all. The Grinch couldn't stop it, Christmas came just the same. It came without packages, boxes and bags.
I sat there recalling why I love this story so much. And I admit it, I felt delightfully smug. That writer was way off base. I'm not the Grinch in her story. I didn't steal the joy. Her Grinches are consumerism, overindulgence and overdoing the attitudes that insist Christmas is something we can find in a store, mail-order catalog or the Internet.
If you've noticed the joy of the season is missing from your life, maybe those Grinches are to blame. Maybe it's time to let them know they've lost their power.
Authentic joy comes not from all the outside trappings, but from our hearts; from the story of the birth of a baby who would become the Christian Savior; from that love that can fill our lives with giddy joy. So let the singing begin!
A Merry Christmas To All And A Good-night"
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Employer's taking over your personal life too!
" A German company called Laserline has just fired one of its workers for smoking. Private detectives were hired to take pictures of the guy lighting up in his back garden...
Anyone else feeling a chill right now? I wish I could say that I made up that quote for dramatic effect. Unfortunately, that it is a direct quote from an article reporting on the incident. Similar incidents are happening in the US as well. This is a growing trend, one that I feel is far more dangerous to our way of life than terrorists and the Patriot Act combined. If employers are permitted to dictate how workers are to behave in the privacy of their own homes...
Do you hear that? It is Benjamin Franklin rolling over in his grave. I think old Ben was a smoker too.
This company in Germany hired private detectives to spy on employees, then fired a man for smoking in his backyard. A distributor of Miller beer in Racine, Wisconsin was caught on camera drinking a Budweiser, during some local city event. His picture was published in the local newspaper and he was fired that very day. A Budweiser distributor in Colorado fired one of its employees because he was seen drinking a Coors in a bar.
I understand that private employers can do things forbidden to the government. If you go on television and say bad things about your company, do not be surprised to see the contents of your office packed into a cardboard box the next day. However, a line must be drawn somewhere. Companies and corporations are not totalitarian governments, nor should they be allowed to behave as such. We are not discussing spyware, installed on the company computer, catching someone surfing for porn during work hours. These people, while off duty and miles away from company property, were fired for doing things that were entirely legal.
Why is this being permitted? Why are the labor unions not on Capitol Hill raining down fire and brimstone upon the Congress? What's next; NBC firing employees for watching ABC while they are at home? I meant what I said earlier: this trend, if allowed to continue, threatens to destroy our liberties. Companies cannot and should not be allowed to dictate what people do in their own homes. The owners of those beer distributors and the owner of Germany's Laserline should be thrown in prison for what they did. If you are a union worker, you need to speak to your rep about this. The next company that decides to suspend the Constitution in our homes might be your's. The labor unions, all of them, need to march straight up the steps of the Capitol building and demand that companies be ordered out of our homes.
We need to do something about this. Today, it is private detectives snapping photos of you in the back yard. Tomorrow, they will be planting microphones and cameras in your bedroom. Is that the world in which you want to live? "
Anyone else feeling a chill right now? I wish I could say that I made up that quote for dramatic effect. Unfortunately, that it is a direct quote from an article reporting on the incident. Similar incidents are happening in the US as well. This is a growing trend, one that I feel is far more dangerous to our way of life than terrorists and the Patriot Act combined. If employers are permitted to dictate how workers are to behave in the privacy of their own homes...
Do you hear that? It is Benjamin Franklin rolling over in his grave. I think old Ben was a smoker too.
This company in Germany hired private detectives to spy on employees, then fired a man for smoking in his backyard. A distributor of Miller beer in Racine, Wisconsin was caught on camera drinking a Budweiser, during some local city event. His picture was published in the local newspaper and he was fired that very day. A Budweiser distributor in Colorado fired one of its employees because he was seen drinking a Coors in a bar.
I understand that private employers can do things forbidden to the government. If you go on television and say bad things about your company, do not be surprised to see the contents of your office packed into a cardboard box the next day. However, a line must be drawn somewhere. Companies and corporations are not totalitarian governments, nor should they be allowed to behave as such. We are not discussing spyware, installed on the company computer, catching someone surfing for porn during work hours. These people, while off duty and miles away from company property, were fired for doing things that were entirely legal.
Why is this being permitted? Why are the labor unions not on Capitol Hill raining down fire and brimstone upon the Congress? What's next; NBC firing employees for watching ABC while they are at home? I meant what I said earlier: this trend, if allowed to continue, threatens to destroy our liberties. Companies cannot and should not be allowed to dictate what people do in their own homes. The owners of those beer distributors and the owner of Germany's Laserline should be thrown in prison for what they did. If you are a union worker, you need to speak to your rep about this. The next company that decides to suspend the Constitution in our homes might be your's. The labor unions, all of them, need to march straight up the steps of the Capitol building and demand that companies be ordered out of our homes.
We need to do something about this. Today, it is private detectives snapping photos of you in the back yard. Tomorrow, they will be planting microphones and cameras in your bedroom. Is that the world in which you want to live? "
Real Holiday Shows That Should Be On TV
" Every year, we celebrate our holiday evenings the same way as our holiday feasts: with warmed-over, predictable dishes. Will Linus and Sally finally hook up in that pumpkin field this year? Will Cindy Lou Whoever get to eat her roast beast? Is that traffic cop seriously going to swallow his whistle again at the sight of Frosty crossing the street for the 36th consecutive year? How about, 10 new dishes that we'd love to see on the air someday. They may not be familiar (hell, they may not even be plausible), but one thing's for certain: they're still better than Aunt Connie's fruitcake.
The Trump Who Stole Christmas. For years, he's sat high above the city, peering down on everyone else's celebrations from his gaudy gold penthouse. Now, with the worlds of real estate, television and self-promotion conquered, The Donald launches the world's first reality holiday show. Starting at the beginning of December, Trump splits twenty residents of Whoville into two groups (The Whos and the Who Nots) that scheme to steal trees, wreaths and mistletoe from those less fortunate (which is, basically, everyone). Right before Trump can fire a flunkee who fails to successfully market the newest flavor of Who Hash, however, his hairpiece grows two sizes. Afterward, he continues to possess all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, but this ratings bonanza is more than enough to make the multimillionaire smile. As Trump would say: "It's gonna be huge."
Emmet Otter's Hip-Hop Christmas. From the Jim Henson Company comes this inspirational story of a poverty stricken otter family struggling in the ghetto. When young Emmet, enters an open mike rap contest under the stage name E-Dawg, he uses his skills to try to win himself a turntable. What he doesn't realize, however, is that his sweet mother, is planning on laying down some rhymes of her own. When The Riverbottom Gang, brings on the grooves of their washtub bass, the contest gets heated, but a cameo appearance by MC Elmo brings peace to all, as they collaborate on a Pharrell Williams-produced remix of Barbecue.
It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown! Everyone's favorite squiggly shirted bald kid has already cornered the market on the major holidays, so it only makes sense that the Peanuts empire would roll on like Alexander the Great, conquering the smaller ones as well. Set a few months after the Christmas special, this newly beloved family classic has Charlie and Linus setting out to replant their pathetically thin evergreen tree. After Pigpen makes his contribution by shaking off a fresh layer of top soil, Lucy kneels over to offer her watering can, then cruelly yanks it away from Charlie Brown, sending him flying through the air. And since the various states celebrate Arbor Day on different dates, networks are sure to be intrigued by the possibilities of low-cost repeat airings.
The Cornelius Brothers' Christmas Adventure. When pickax-wielding prospector Yukon Cornelius starts exploring his family roots, he uncovers his most exciting holiday adventure since he helped Rudolph get to the head of Santa's sleigh. Yukon's long-lost brother, "Soul Train" host and all-around hepcat Don Cornelius, is so excited to meet his relative that he tells Yukon about all the gold around the necks and fingers of his performers and dancers. Things get a bit messy when Yukon begins stabbing people on the dance floor, licking his ax and shouting out Nothing! when he discovers that most of it is imitation jewelry. In the immortal words of Don: It's gonna be a stone gas, honey!
Yogi's First Festivus. In a bizarre Groundhog Day series of repetition, Yogi Bear has spent every December of the last quarter-century rediscovering Christmas for the first time. Imagine his excitement, then, when he wakes from this year's hibernation to find that Huckleberry Hound, Snagglepuss and the rest are instead celebrating Festivus, the Frank Costanza-designed nondenominational holiday for the rest of us. Placing an aluminum pole in the middle of the Jellystone Lodge, Auggie Doggie and Doggie Daddy lead the group in the ceremonial Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength. At the end of the evening, Cindy Bear wrestles Herman the Hermit to the ground and pins him, earning herself a picnic basket filled with a Big Salad.
Sam Stuffing and the Voyage of the Gravy Boat. After years of having nothing to watch on Thanksgiving Eve but sitcom reruns, TV audiences finally get a program to put them in the mood for Turkey Day. The story begins when Sam, a boy who OD's on stuffing, rests his head on the family table and falls asleep. Dreaming he's been shrunken down to the size of a salt shaker, Sam hops aboard the gravy boat for a sailing adventure around the table. After an avalanche of dinner rolls nearly crushes him, Sam encounters a surly orange potato who gets angry when people call him sweet (I yam what I yam! he barks), has to extract a fallen olive from the hot pumpkin pie volcano and gets caught in the crossfire of the epic, ongoing war between white and dark meat. Sam saves the day by grabbing an enormous carving knife and inflicting a mortal wound to the Evil Green Bean Casserole Monster, who dies while hemorrhaging cranberry sauce.
Dick Clark's Rockin' Epiphany Eve. With ageless ex-DJ Clark having such a blast counting down to each new year, it's only natural that he'd want to do it all over again six days later. Epiphany, the obscure 12th day of Christmas, marks the day the wise men finally got around to forking over their gifts for the baby Jesus. It only seems right, then, that we should celebrate tardy gift givers everywhere, while simultaneously extending our holiday vacations until Jan. 6. Twelve drummers drumming? Sounds like a party to us! Go ahead, Dick, hoist your ball up one more time!
Lost on the Island of Misfit Toys. After a season-and-a-half of running around in the woods, the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 from (Lost) stumble upon a mysterious beach. There, they encounter Charlie-In-The-Box and the Train with Box Wheels, who explain that they are, in fact, on the Island of Misfit Toys. As Rudolph and Santa attempt to uncover the truth about the Hanso Foundation, Libby and Ana Lucia pose their own queries as to what, exactly, is wrong with the normal looking Misfit Girl Doll. Hermey the Elf quickly supplants Jack as the go-to physician for injured island residents, and a dramatic confrontation occurs when Charlie Pace is accused of stealing the dentist's painkiller supplies. In the end, everyone's problems are solved as the Lost crew plays with the toys, while studly King Moonracer offers to return the favor with Evangeline Lilly.
The Star Wars Holiday Special, Episode II: Attack of the Groans. For three decades, geeks have passed around bootleg copies of the 1978 misstep that George Lucas wishes he could make go far, far away. Now, they can once again shell out big bucks to discover that, yes, the idea of celebrating outer space's Lifeday really is that bad. With Episode II, Lucas' prequel to the Special, we see a CGI-enhanced Bea Arthur at age 18, applying for the entry-level job of dishwasher at the Creature Cantina. Lucas continues to plunder his universe by establishing that Chewbacca's father Itchy has a high midichlorian count, that Art Carney is Boba Fett's brother and that Jimmy Smits was the original lead singer for Jefferson Starship.
Frosty vs. Predator. Now that Freddy vs. Jason and Alien vs. Predator have made matchups so hot, it's time to toughen up the so-called jolly, happy soul. The Predator has tremendous strength and the ability to turn invisible, sure, but Frosty can melt himself down to liquid form and then re-assemble himself unscathed! Factor in the Snowman's coal-launching eye sockets and kernal-spitting corncob pipe, and the two engage in an impressive battle to the death. For the show's climactic battle, Frosty slides on his belly at great speeds while the Predator chases after him, attempting to capture the coveted magic hat. Ultimately, however, both combatants are destroyed by a reincarnated, nefarious and thoroughly animated Jimmy Durante."
The Trump Who Stole Christmas. For years, he's sat high above the city, peering down on everyone else's celebrations from his gaudy gold penthouse. Now, with the worlds of real estate, television and self-promotion conquered, The Donald launches the world's first reality holiday show. Starting at the beginning of December, Trump splits twenty residents of Whoville into two groups (The Whos and the Who Nots) that scheme to steal trees, wreaths and mistletoe from those less fortunate (which is, basically, everyone). Right before Trump can fire a flunkee who fails to successfully market the newest flavor of Who Hash, however, his hairpiece grows two sizes. Afterward, he continues to possess all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, but this ratings bonanza is more than enough to make the multimillionaire smile. As Trump would say: "It's gonna be huge."
Emmet Otter's Hip-Hop Christmas. From the Jim Henson Company comes this inspirational story of a poverty stricken otter family struggling in the ghetto. When young Emmet, enters an open mike rap contest under the stage name E-Dawg, he uses his skills to try to win himself a turntable. What he doesn't realize, however, is that his sweet mother, is planning on laying down some rhymes of her own. When The Riverbottom Gang, brings on the grooves of their washtub bass, the contest gets heated, but a cameo appearance by MC Elmo brings peace to all, as they collaborate on a Pharrell Williams-produced remix of Barbecue.
It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown! Everyone's favorite squiggly shirted bald kid has already cornered the market on the major holidays, so it only makes sense that the Peanuts empire would roll on like Alexander the Great, conquering the smaller ones as well. Set a few months after the Christmas special, this newly beloved family classic has Charlie and Linus setting out to replant their pathetically thin evergreen tree. After Pigpen makes his contribution by shaking off a fresh layer of top soil, Lucy kneels over to offer her watering can, then cruelly yanks it away from Charlie Brown, sending him flying through the air. And since the various states celebrate Arbor Day on different dates, networks are sure to be intrigued by the possibilities of low-cost repeat airings.
The Cornelius Brothers' Christmas Adventure. When pickax-wielding prospector Yukon Cornelius starts exploring his family roots, he uncovers his most exciting holiday adventure since he helped Rudolph get to the head of Santa's sleigh. Yukon's long-lost brother, "Soul Train" host and all-around hepcat Don Cornelius, is so excited to meet his relative that he tells Yukon about all the gold around the necks and fingers of his performers and dancers. Things get a bit messy when Yukon begins stabbing people on the dance floor, licking his ax and shouting out Nothing! when he discovers that most of it is imitation jewelry. In the immortal words of Don: It's gonna be a stone gas, honey!
Yogi's First Festivus. In a bizarre Groundhog Day series of repetition, Yogi Bear has spent every December of the last quarter-century rediscovering Christmas for the first time. Imagine his excitement, then, when he wakes from this year's hibernation to find that Huckleberry Hound, Snagglepuss and the rest are instead celebrating Festivus, the Frank Costanza-designed nondenominational holiday for the rest of us. Placing an aluminum pole in the middle of the Jellystone Lodge, Auggie Doggie and Doggie Daddy lead the group in the ceremonial Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength. At the end of the evening, Cindy Bear wrestles Herman the Hermit to the ground and pins him, earning herself a picnic basket filled with a Big Salad.
Sam Stuffing and the Voyage of the Gravy Boat. After years of having nothing to watch on Thanksgiving Eve but sitcom reruns, TV audiences finally get a program to put them in the mood for Turkey Day. The story begins when Sam, a boy who OD's on stuffing, rests his head on the family table and falls asleep. Dreaming he's been shrunken down to the size of a salt shaker, Sam hops aboard the gravy boat for a sailing adventure around the table. After an avalanche of dinner rolls nearly crushes him, Sam encounters a surly orange potato who gets angry when people call him sweet (I yam what I yam! he barks), has to extract a fallen olive from the hot pumpkin pie volcano and gets caught in the crossfire of the epic, ongoing war between white and dark meat. Sam saves the day by grabbing an enormous carving knife and inflicting a mortal wound to the Evil Green Bean Casserole Monster, who dies while hemorrhaging cranberry sauce.
Dick Clark's Rockin' Epiphany Eve. With ageless ex-DJ Clark having such a blast counting down to each new year, it's only natural that he'd want to do it all over again six days later. Epiphany, the obscure 12th day of Christmas, marks the day the wise men finally got around to forking over their gifts for the baby Jesus. It only seems right, then, that we should celebrate tardy gift givers everywhere, while simultaneously extending our holiday vacations until Jan. 6. Twelve drummers drumming? Sounds like a party to us! Go ahead, Dick, hoist your ball up one more time!
Lost on the Island of Misfit Toys. After a season-and-a-half of running around in the woods, the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 from (Lost) stumble upon a mysterious beach. There, they encounter Charlie-In-The-Box and the Train with Box Wheels, who explain that they are, in fact, on the Island of Misfit Toys. As Rudolph and Santa attempt to uncover the truth about the Hanso Foundation, Libby and Ana Lucia pose their own queries as to what, exactly, is wrong with the normal looking Misfit Girl Doll. Hermey the Elf quickly supplants Jack as the go-to physician for injured island residents, and a dramatic confrontation occurs when Charlie Pace is accused of stealing the dentist's painkiller supplies. In the end, everyone's problems are solved as the Lost crew plays with the toys, while studly King Moonracer offers to return the favor with Evangeline Lilly.
The Star Wars Holiday Special, Episode II: Attack of the Groans. For three decades, geeks have passed around bootleg copies of the 1978 misstep that George Lucas wishes he could make go far, far away. Now, they can once again shell out big bucks to discover that, yes, the idea of celebrating outer space's Lifeday really is that bad. With Episode II, Lucas' prequel to the Special, we see a CGI-enhanced Bea Arthur at age 18, applying for the entry-level job of dishwasher at the Creature Cantina. Lucas continues to plunder his universe by establishing that Chewbacca's father Itchy has a high midichlorian count, that Art Carney is Boba Fett's brother and that Jimmy Smits was the original lead singer for Jefferson Starship.
Frosty vs. Predator. Now that Freddy vs. Jason and Alien vs. Predator have made matchups so hot, it's time to toughen up the so-called jolly, happy soul. The Predator has tremendous strength and the ability to turn invisible, sure, but Frosty can melt himself down to liquid form and then re-assemble himself unscathed! Factor in the Snowman's coal-launching eye sockets and kernal-spitting corncob pipe, and the two engage in an impressive battle to the death. For the show's climactic battle, Frosty slides on his belly at great speeds while the Predator chases after him, attempting to capture the coveted magic hat. Ultimately, however, both combatants are destroyed by a reincarnated, nefarious and thoroughly animated Jimmy Durante."
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Santa...Will he be a thing of our past ?
" Disillusioned by a growing list of rules imposed by recruiting agencies and shopping centres to guard against litigation, men who have brought smiles to the faces of thousands of young for decades are reluctantly deciding to call it quits. - They can't hand out candy, they can't pat children on the head because of religious beliefs, they can't put children on their laps unless they get permission from parents and they can't have photographs taken with youngsters unless their hands are in full view.
So frightened have some Santas become of being sued that they are demanding extra helpers to act as witnesses just in case a complaint is made. Santas are even being told not to go around saying 'Ho, ho, ho' because they may frighten children. One Santa said, he walked through a shopping centre in silence because he was worried he'd be fired, if he appeared too jolly. The plight of Santa's highlighted a worrying trend around the world of political correctness gone mad. It is important society find the right balance between political correctness and what some people saw as acceptable behaviour. The ones who did the job because they loved doing it and wanted to keep a child's dream alive are no longer working because of the stupid rules.There are still Santas in stores, but the heart has gone out of them. The rules are getting ridiculous. How can you stop a child running up to you and leaping into your arms? Do you just drop them and say: Sorry, against the rules ? Kids run and cuddle Santa because they love the guy in the red suit. The day will come when Santas would no longer be a part of the Christmas spirit..... Soon, Santa's in shopping centres and public areas would be shielded behind glass screens, away from children. Santa can't even be portrayed as a fat, jolly old fellow any more because it's not politically correct."
Christmas With-out... Christ ?
MSNBC.com:"Is there a war against Christmas? The ACLU and a lot of other people have been trying to take Christ out of Christmas for years. At this time of year, many people believe that that's a real concern. Newport News, Va., 8,000 people are expected to show up for the town's Christmas celebration, except they are NOT..Calling it that. They're calling it Hollydazzle.... And instead of lighting the 40-foot Christmas tree, they are calling it....Get this!! The tree of illumination.
The events are also going to include, of course, Frosty the Snowman, make-your-own-snow globes, and that traditional Christmas fair, Mr. And Mrs. Mouse.
Many Americans are fed up with public celebrations that are taking Christ out of Christmas, and they believe that their faith is under attack, but is it the proper thing to do? The country was founded on a document that specifically separates church from state, that's the United States Constitution. Where does it say that in the Constitution?...The First Amendment.
I would like, however, to be able to go to Mall, and not be told that I need to spend more money, because its Christmas, over the loud speaker all the time, or, indeed, go into Wal-Mart or Target or, what ever store and not have an incessant one-party state month of permanent Buy-Me More.. Music and guilt-propaganda. I think that's annoying and offensive. I promise only one thing. This to me is ugly, vulgar, boring and makes me hate this time of year more every time it comes around.
People are starting to speak-up, because they are tired of this onslaught against Christmas & Christ. They are tired of the trend of the ACLU and others that force, views that simply want to eliminate God and religion from the public eye. And I think it is symbolic of what's happened to take a Christmas tree and rename it to something other than a Christmas tree.
The events are also going to include, of course, Frosty the Snowman, make-your-own-snow globes, and that traditional Christmas fair, Mr. And Mrs. Mouse.
Many Americans are fed up with public celebrations that are taking Christ out of Christmas, and they believe that their faith is under attack, but is it the proper thing to do? The country was founded on a document that specifically separates church from state, that's the United States Constitution. Where does it say that in the Constitution?...The First Amendment.
I would like, however, to be able to go to Mall, and not be told that I need to spend more money, because its Christmas, over the loud speaker all the time, or, indeed, go into Wal-Mart or Target or, what ever store and not have an incessant one-party state month of permanent Buy-Me More.. Music and guilt-propaganda. I think that's annoying and offensive. I promise only one thing. This to me is ugly, vulgar, boring and makes me hate this time of year more every time it comes around.
People are starting to speak-up, because they are tired of this onslaught against Christmas & Christ. They are tired of the trend of the ACLU and others that force, views that simply want to eliminate God and religion from the public eye. And I think it is symbolic of what's happened to take a Christmas tree and rename it to something other than a Christmas tree.
To me.. What does Christmas mean? It's suppose to be about - Remembering the birth of Jesus, the son of God. Instead of a cake to share, with candles. We put up a tree and use lighting & ect. To show our joy, for the birth of all man-kind, here on this earth..we live on. And the reason we give gifts, I believe because all humans are the children of God, and we re-joyce in our birth thru him (Jesus) on this day because of what he did for us...Born into this world in hopes to make it a better place to live for all. If we loose that from our memories, then we become nothing more, then animals in the chain of life here on earth. Is that what humans want to go back to? "
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Dear Mr. Bush
MichaelMoore.com!:" I would like to extend my hand and invite you to join us, the mainstream American majority. We, the people -- that's the majority of the people -- share these majority opinions:
1. Going to war was a mistake -- a big mistake.
2. You and your administration misled us into this war.
3. We want the war ended and our troops brought home.
4. We don't trust you.
Now, I know this is a bitter pill to swallow. Iraq was going to be your great legacy. Now, it's just your legacy. It didn't have to end up this way.
This week, when Republicans and conservative Democrats started jumping ship, you lashed out at them. You thought the most damning thing you could say to them was that they were "endorsing the policy positions of Michael Moore and the extreme liberal wing of the Democratic party." I mean, is that the best you can do to persuade them to stick with you -- compare them to me? You gotta come up with a better villain. For heaven's sakes, you had a hundred-plus million other Americans who think the same way I do -- and you could have picked on any one of them!
But hey, why not cut out the name-calling and the smearing and just do the obvious thing: Come join the majority! Be one of us, your fellow Americans! Is it really that hard? Is there really any other choice? George, take a walk on the wild side!
Your loyal representative from the majority,
Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com
Coffee Talk..Adds their name to this letter"
1. Going to war was a mistake -- a big mistake.
2. You and your administration misled us into this war.
3. We want the war ended and our troops brought home.
4. We don't trust you.
Now, I know this is a bitter pill to swallow. Iraq was going to be your great legacy. Now, it's just your legacy. It didn't have to end up this way.
This week, when Republicans and conservative Democrats started jumping ship, you lashed out at them. You thought the most damning thing you could say to them was that they were "endorsing the policy positions of Michael Moore and the extreme liberal wing of the Democratic party." I mean, is that the best you can do to persuade them to stick with you -- compare them to me? You gotta come up with a better villain. For heaven's sakes, you had a hundred-plus million other Americans who think the same way I do -- and you could have picked on any one of them!
But hey, why not cut out the name-calling and the smearing and just do the obvious thing: Come join the majority! Be one of us, your fellow Americans! Is it really that hard? Is there really any other choice? George, take a walk on the wild side!
Your loyal representative from the majority,
Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com
Coffee Talk..Adds their name to this letter"
Friday, November 18, 2005
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
NEW SHOW - HOOKER'S APPRENTICE
"Pahrump, Nev.- On the heels of the megahit reality show The Apprentice comes a brand new search for sharp business professionals -The Apprentice Hooker,- says the program's creator. "Smart, dependable prostitutes are hard to find," says Mike McGee, CEO of Strumpet Productions. "I came up with the brilliant idea after a friend, who frequents legal Nevada brothels, told me his favorite hostess, Madam Bovary, confided in him about how tough it was to hire Ladies of the Night who were beautiful, but also intelligent. "The Apprentice Hooker will attract 'working girls' from all across the country. They'll compete to get into Madam Bovary's brothel, The Best Little Whorehouse in Nevada, where they'll live like queens and service only the wealthiest men in America -- and make themselves a fortune in the process!" But competitors are going to face stiff challenges to win employment with Madam Bovary. "I make Donald Trump look like a doormat," says the brothel boss. Everyone thinks it's easy to be a hooker. Ha! I demand excellence. "I run a beautiful 'resort' for wealthy, sometimes famous men. They want a lovely lady who is attractively attired. I need women of grace who can prove to me they understand the art of making a deal." Madam Bovary insists there are a great many similarities between being a successful businessperson and a professional prostitute. Both must be able to:•Show off their product in the best light.
•Negotiate quickly and firmly.
•Utilize time management and scheduling techniques.
•Provide customer satisfaction.
•Defeat the competition.
•Close the deal quickly.
•Generate repeat business.
•Know when to kiss butt.
The weekly, hour-long program will feature Madam Bovary and 20 escorts each season. "I'll also let them watch me in action. They can learn a lot by example." If, after reviewing the tape, Bovary comes to the conclusion there is no hope for that particular prostitute, she'll turn to her and say, "You're laid off." "The winner or winners will pack their bags and come to live in The Best Little Whorehouse in Nevada, where they'll work and reside in luxury," said Bovary. "The views are fantastic, the women get unlimited spa and gym time, a personal trainer, regular manicures, pedicures and massages. On the practical side, they'll receive full coverage medical benefits and a 401k." McGee says home audiences will be glued to their TV sets, rooting for their favorites and watching the hookers in action. Viewer discretion will be advised."
Monday, November 14, 2005
The Military
" He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity. He is self-sufficient. He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry."A Normal Work-Day For Them at War..
"He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark. He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must. He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional. He can march until he is told to stop or stop until he is told to march."Spare time at War for our men
"He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts.If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low.He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands. He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job. He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay and still find ironic humor in it all. He has seen more suffering and death then he should have in his short lifetime."American's fine's While at war away from home
"They has stood atop mountains of dead bodies, and helped to create them. They has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combatand is unashamed. They feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through their body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to square-away' those around them who haven't bothered to stand,remove their hat, or even stop talking. In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, they defends their right to be disrespectful. Just as did our Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, they are paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, they are not children. They are the American Fighting person that has kept this country free for over 200 years"Tradition of what war looks like
"He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding.Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood. And now we even have woman over there in danger,doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so. As you go to bed tonight, remember this shot.. A short lull, a little shade and a picture of loved ones in their helmets "Prayer wheel for our military
" The average age of the military man or is 19 years. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country. He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's; but he has never collected unemployment either. He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student,pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and 155mm howizzitor. He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk........... Prayer wheel for our military........Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen. Please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our ground troops in Afghanistan, sailors on ships, and airmen in the air,and for those in Iraq. There is nothing attached.... This can be very powerful.......Of all the gifts you could give a US Soldier, Sailor, Coastguardsman, Marineor Airman, prayer is the very best one. This is a ribbon for soldiers fighting in Iraq. "
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Excuse me but my !! BUTT!! is stuck
"A Colorado man who claims he was stuck to a restroom toilet seat has passed a lie detector test. Reports Bob Dougherty answered 20 questions, including four about him allegedly making a similar claim in Nederland, Colorado.Nederland's former operations director says Dougherty claimed last year that was was glued to a toilet seat in the town's visitor center. But Dougherty denies the claim.Dougherty has filed a lawsuit claiming after paramedics unbolted the toilet seat it separated from his skin, leaving abrasions.The lawsuit claims he suffered pain, humiliation and financial losses and seeks 3-million dollars in damages"
Coffee - couldn't bring this turtle back to life
"Ainsworth, Iowa.. A woman in Iowa says she got a jolt even before she made her Folgers coffee. Marjorie Morris says when she went to pour the freeze-dried coffee into a canister last Sunday, she found a dead baby turtle. Morris says she'd been making coffee from the same package for a month before discovering the turtle. She says when she called a customer service line, she was told the turtle might have wound up in the coffee because of Hurricane Katrina. There's a major Folgers plant in New Orleans. A spokeswoman for Procter and Gamble, which makes Folgers, says it's too early to say where the turtle came from. Morris says she doesn't plan to sue"
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
The Perfect Pen
"What we would give to be eight or 14 again! Ever since we discovered the Fly pen from Leapfrog Enterprises. This is no ordinary pen: It talks. It translates. It educates and entertains. You can draw piano keys or drums on the special Fly paper and get this play them. You can draw a calculator and do math with it. It also has a built-in scheduler to remind you of activities, appointments, curfew, specialized spelling help, the girls' ultimate interactive journal/friend/insta-magazine and more. This cool toy and computer in one is the ultimate multitasking tool for the tween on the go. The pen talks through a small loudspeaker but also includes earbuds As one reviewer on Amazon said: “This pen rocks!” We couldn't agree more." 
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Monday, October 31, 2005
Halloween death not even noticed
Halloween Mistake:" Delaware -The apparent suicide of a woman found hanging from a tree went unreported for hours because passers-by thought the body was a Halloween decoration, authorities said.The 42-year-old woman used rope to hang herself across the street from some homes on a moderately busy road, state police said. The body, suspended about 15 feet above the ground, could be easily seen from passing vehicles. Cpl. Jeff Oldham and neighbors said people noticed the body at breakfast time but dismissed it as a holiday prank. Authorities were called to the scene more than three hours later."They thought it was a Halloween decoration," Fay Glanden, wife of Mayor William Glanden, told The (Wilmington) News Journal. You know what is sad about this is no one even missed her enough to go look for her, only to then find her hanging dead right out in plain sight and everyone thinking your just a prop."
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Mars - Is swinging by Earth
"
The Red Planet will pass unusually close to Earth tonight, appearing as a yellow twinkle in the night sky. Mars' latest rendezvous will not match its record-breaking approach in 2003, but more people will be able to see it because it will be visible above the horizon. This pass will bring Mars a little over 41 (m) million miles away, compared to 35 (m) million miles in 2003. The two planets will not be this close again until 2018. If you would like to read more go to: http://skyandtelescope.com"
The Red Planet will pass unusually close to Earth tonight, appearing as a yellow twinkle in the night sky. Mars' latest rendezvous will not match its record-breaking approach in 2003, but more people will be able to see it because it will be visible above the horizon. This pass will bring Mars a little over 41 (m) million miles away, compared to 35 (m) million miles in 2003. The two planets will not be this close again until 2018. If you would like to read more go to: http://skyandtelescope.com" 
Clocks - Turn Back 1-hour Tonight
"How day-light savings time got started?..
An Englishman named William Willett -1907 noticed houses with their shades drawn during the daytime. He considered this "a waste of daylight. The idea didn't get anywhere until 1916, however, when England figured out during World War I that the country could save energy by changing the clock. The United States followed suit in 1918. But people hated it and the law was repealed. Until World War II, that is. Until 1966 local governments in the United States followed a kind of free-form daylight-saving time. Some did it, some didn't. Some started earlier in the year, some later. As you can imagine, this was kind of confusing, especially for public transportation and broadcasters. So in 1966 Congress passed a law saying if you wanted to follow daylight-saving time, it had to follow the national pattern.But the tweaking didn't stop there. In 1973, when Nixon was president and during the OPEC oil embargo, Congress enacted a special, two-year daylight-saving period. It wasn't continued in 1975 because agricultural states didn't like it. Finally, in 1986, Ronald Reagan made one last change.** But..This may change again! Bush wants to play with the months to make more time on both ends spring and fall in the year 2007 if the bills passes, we'll see."
An Englishman named William Willett -1907 noticed houses with their shades drawn during the daytime. He considered this "a waste of daylight. The idea didn't get anywhere until 1916, however, when England figured out during World War I that the country could save energy by changing the clock. The United States followed suit in 1918. But people hated it and the law was repealed. Until World War II, that is. Until 1966 local governments in the United States followed a kind of free-form daylight-saving time. Some did it, some didn't. Some started earlier in the year, some later. As you can imagine, this was kind of confusing, especially for public transportation and broadcasters. So in 1966 Congress passed a law saying if you wanted to follow daylight-saving time, it had to follow the national pattern.But the tweaking didn't stop there. In 1973, when Nixon was president and during the OPEC oil embargo, Congress enacted a special, two-year daylight-saving period. It wasn't continued in 1975 because agricultural states didn't like it. Finally, in 1986, Ronald Reagan made one last change.** But..This may change again! Bush wants to play with the months to make more time on both ends spring and fall in the year 2007 if the bills passes, we'll see."
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